


Potions Pungency

by reddysteddy



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Gen, I just wanted an excuse to write these two dorks, Potions, Pungent potions, Tango and Zed being Tango and Zed, i dunno man, not much happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:15:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25586560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddysteddy/pseuds/reddysteddy
Summary: Zedaph calls Tango over to the Cave of Contraptions to help him with something. Absolutely nothing ensues.
Relationships: Tango Tek & Zedaph (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	Potions Pungency

Tango strode into the Cave of Contraptions, the simple oak door creaking shut behind him. Dozens of displays of dizzyingly complex machinery whirred and ticked with life around him. He paid them no mind, ruby eyes scanning the hollowed out mountain for his friend. "ZED!", he shouted, voice echoing off of the stony walls. "I'M HERE, BUDDY! WHERE YA AT?".

"COMING!", the Brit called from somewhere in the hole. A few seconds later a familiar mess of blond curls came into view. Zed trotted towards him, violet eyes wide with focus. Odd stains covered the front of his cardigan, ranging in color from magenta to orange. Tango chuckled at his disheveled appearance. "Wha' cha workin' on this time? The world's worst flower farm?". Zed let out a giggle. "No, but if I did I would look to you for pointers".

Zed clapped his hands together. "Anyway, the thing I called you over here for is...". He turned around, exposing even more stains on the back of his clothing. "...This way". Without checking to make sure that Tango was following him he scurried down the hall, past the Fish Flinger, the Wrong Side of the Bed, and countless other eccentric mechanisms. Tango struggled to keep up, not as sure about his way around the cave and endlessly distracted by the various projects the pacifist had cooked up.

After what seemed like half an hour Zed had led Tango down an expanse of unfurnished space. Near the end of the hallway was a small stone counter with a few double chests sitting next to it. As they approached the counter Tango noticed that nearly every square inch of it was covered in the same brightly colored stains that plagued Zed's outfit. A journal rested on its surface, the words "POTIONS PUNGENCY" scrawled across its cover. Zedaph stopped once he reached the counter and slapped his hand against the book's cover. A soft paft rang out against the dirt and andesite.

"This", he said proudly, "Is a project I've been working on for the past few days". He grabbed the notebook and waved it in Tango's face. "You know how when you use a brewing stand to, well, brew, you can only add ingredients to the bottles to change the liquid's composition?". Tango nodded to show he was listening. "Well I have been mixing a bunch of pre-made potions together, letting them mingle like strangers at a party, discussing their pets, where they went on vacation last year during holiday; while trying not to scratch their bums because for some reason everyone thinks it's embarrassing to scratch their bums when they meet new people even though it is a perfectly normal thing to do".

Tango observed the book in his hand a little more closely. "Pogions puntency? I mean... Balalalala, Potions pungency?". Zedaph nodded curtly. "Yes, pungency, because when you swirl a lot of fluids together you tend to get some smelly properties. It reeked of seaweed and rotten sweetberries and under ripe watermelon and glazed terracotta and chicken butts just a few minutes ago. But then, right as soon as you yelled from the depths of my private little hole, one potion I experimented with cleared out all the scents!". He gestured irritatedly at a chest beside him as if it had told him to bathe. "So now it looks like I gave this experiment a name worse than 'Tango'".

The red eyed man opened the chest he supposed his friend was talking about and gazed inside. Row after row of bottles filled the wooden container, each filled with shimmering liquid. Well that explained the stains. Curiously he glanced inside the chests next to it, each also filled with various concoctions.

"What exactly are you plannin' on makin' with these?", he asked. Zedaph turned to face him. "That is a good question", he stated matter of factly. "Well, you know those Zouchers I gave to everybody?". Tango closed the chest in front of him. "Yeah, what about 'em?". Zed's lips pressed into a thin line. "You know how many people have exchanged their Zoucher for some diamonds?". Tango started laughing before he could answer. "Yeah. Anyway, I wanted to set up another shop. There isn't anyone selling perfumes at the moment, so I decided to take advantage of this untapped market and corner it like a... Well, like a bad person who corners things". He swished his hand through the air as if reading invisible text on the wall. "'PERFUMES PUNGENCY', for all your olfactory needs".

Without another word he reached into the nearest chest and fished out what looked like a swiftness potion. The two chaotic redstoners locked eyes as Zed slowly walked backwards down the hall, the rules of a brand new game being communicated almost telepathically. A wide grin spread to the sides of Tango's face as he held up a vial of his own taken from a storage unit at random. Without warning both men launched their bottles towards each other at full force, an explosion of glass and orange liquid coating the walls and ceiling as they collided mid air.  
Tango whooped loudly, rushing over to get a better look at the mess they had made. "Yes! We did it, first try!", he cheered. Zed smiled triumphantly, breathing in the fresh scent of apples. Making his way to his friend he noticed glints of light indicating shards of glass and drops of fluid in the corners of his eye all along the surface of the stone, the farthest almost reaching his other contraptions more than thirty blocks away. He idly wondered how none of that managed to hit them.

"That was a smashing success", he said, smirking at his own joke as he approached the other. "Now, only question is, how are we going to clean this up...".


End file.
